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Harpers.org is a pretty interesting web site, but not much of the actual magazine in available (free), which is too bad because there is a great story by Alice Munro called “Fiction” in the August issue.
Also in that issue is this funny little piece:
[Discography]
MEMORY ALMOST FULL
From a February 26 sentencing memorandum by
Judge Gregory R. Todd, in the case of Montana v.
Andrew McCormack. In 2006, McCormack was
arrested for stealing beer. After entering a guilty
plea, he received a sentence of probation, community
service, and a fine.
Mr.McCormack, to the question of "Give
your recommendation as to what you think the
Court should do in this case," you said, "Like the
Beatles say, 'Let it be.''' If I were to overlook your
actions and let it be, I would have to ignore that
day in the life on April 21, 2006. Evidently, you
said to yourself, "I feel fine," while drinking beer.
Later, whether you wanted money or were just
trying to act naturally, you became the fool on
the hill. As Mr. Moonlight at 1:30 A.M., you did
not think for yourself, but just focused on I, me,
mine. Because you didn't ask for help, wait for
something else, or listen to your conscience saying,
"Honey, don't," the victim later that day was
fixing a hole in the glass door you broke. After you
stole the eighteen-pack of Old Milwaukee, you
decided it was time to run for your life and carry
that weight. But when the witness said, "Baby,
it's you," the police responded, "I'll get you," and
you had to admit, "You really got a hold on me."
You were not able to get back home because of the
chains they put on you. Although you hoped the
police would say, "I don't want to spoil the party"
and "We can work it out," you were in misery
when they said you were a bad boy. When the
police took you to jail, they said, "Hello, goodbye,"
and you became a nowhere man. Later, when you
thought about what you did, you may have said,
"I'll cry instead." Now you're saying, "Let it be,"
instead of, "I'm a loser." As a result of your hard
day's night, you are looking at a ticket to ride that
long and winding road. Hopefully, you can say
when I'm sixty-four, "I should have known better."